Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Finding Happiness After a Divorce or Breakup



After your breakup or divorce, when you're ready, play more. Have fun just for the sake of having fun.

After my divorce, I've had periods of fun that come and go. They're like ocean waves I've been ready to catch. I ride them for awhile and then eventually go back to the business of healing. Playing and having fun is healthy and can provide respite and energy for when you're ready to deal with the next layer of healing.

I wouldn't push it though. Only you know if you're ready for play and adventure as well as if you're using fun as a way to avoid the more difficult emotional aspects of your breakup or divorce.

Recently I met up with the physical manifestation of play in a dream. Together we slid down a hill, and she showered me with glitter. I was mesmerized within this visual embodiment of pure joy. Nothing else existed except the laughter bubbling up from my heart.

Joy is always there. You might not be ready for it because you're in the middle of honoring some grief and suffering from your breakup or divorce. But know it exists for you. It's held in trust for you no matter the depth of your pain and ready to spill out at any time.

More importantly, look for other people who want to play too. People with no fixed agendas or expectations, but simply enjoy the experience of playing together. Seek groups of people who want to sing, dance, act, play outdoors, knit, make art, and garden together. These are your play-makers. They will help you grow, heal, and feel joy again.

For 100 random ideas that will cultivate more play in your life, download Beth's Happiness List by clicking here.

Here's a quick sampler from the list:
  1. Put bananas on everything
  2. Leave a funny joke on a stranger’s windshield
  3. Follow a butterfly
  4. Wear your fat pants all week
  5. Make silly faces in the mirror
  6. Hang out at the swings
  7. Let a kid beat you at a game
  8. Go bowling and try for gutter balls
  9. Go roller skating and request your favorite song
  10. Switch something from forwards to backwards
  11. Have a tailgate party in the parking lot after work.
  12. Make a snow angel
  13. Skip down the street
  14. Sing in the rain
  15. Jump in a mud puddle
  16. Take pictures upside down
  17. Fall in love with your bathtub
  18. Practice Kung Fu moves in your pajamas
  19. Procrastinate
  20. Lounge on the grass
If you are experiencing a breakup, separation, or divorce, you may choose to download my FREE ebook Divorce Care Package, which offers tools and ideas for helping you through the process of letting go of a love relationship.

To have me facilitate a workshop or retreat on mending after the loss of love, check out my Web site here.