Tuesday, August 20, 2013

New Relationships After a Breakup or Divorce

Growing Relationships After Divorce Beth Hemmila Breakup Care Package


Cast All Your Votes for Dancing
By Hafiz

I know the voice of depression

Still calls to you.

I know those habits that can ruin your life

Still send their invitations.

But you are with the Friend now

And look so much stronger.

You can stay that way

And even bloom!

Keep squeezing drops of the Sun

From your prayers and work and music

And from your companions’ beautiful laughter.

Keep squeezing drops of the Sun

From the sacred hands and glance of your Beloved

And, my dear,

From the most insignificant movements

Of your own holy body.

Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins

That may buy you just a moment of pleasure,

But then drag you for days

Like a broken man

Behind a farting camel.

You are with the Friend now.

Learn what actions of yours delight Him,

What actions of yours bring freedom

And Love.

Whenever you say God’s name, dear pilgrim,

My ears wish my head was missing

So they could finally kiss each other

And applaud all your nourishing wisdom!

O keep squeezing drops of the Sun

From your prayers and work and music

And from your companions’ beautiful laughter

And from the most insignificant movements

Of your own holy body.

Now, sweet one,

Be wise.

Cast all your votes for Dancing!

While I transitioning from marriage to being single again, I spent time with a support group of men and women all experiencing different stages of divorce. When we went our separate ways, a friend sent Hafiz' poem as a goodbye gift.

While reading it, I laughed and cried all at the same time for divorce or breaking up can feel like being a "broken man behind a farting camel." It's both sad and absurdly funny all at the same time.

What makes divorce or a breakup easier is the promise of growing relationships. Though your intimate love relationship might be over, the future is bringing a rich variety of new relationships to learn and grow from.

In the beginning, be aware that these relationships may not include the family and friends you might expect because often they are grieving the loss of your love relationship too. More importantly, they may not include a romantic love interest. Instead you are going to be crossing a bridge with a whole group of unexpected travelers -- new friends.

Some of them may be broken and going through a divorce or breakup alongside you. Others may be healers, teachers, and guides helping you find your way across. Some people might become permission friends and help you refine or cultivate new talents. You may notice a new acquaintance might only be around for a couple of months because their role is simply to break you out of the house so as to have fun again.

Your new friends are going to come in the guise of different genders, ages, and beliefs; however, these kindred spirits are all arriving to help you grow and learn to dance behind a "farting camel."