Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Confront Fears & Improve Your Life After a Divorce or Breakup

Confront Fears and Improve Your Life After a Divorce or Breakup by Beth Hemmila of the Breakup Care Package


One of the greatest gifts that comes from the breakup of a love relationship or divorce is the opportunity to invest energy into your own personal growth.

When before you may have been focused on the care and feeding of a relationship, now is the perfect time to turn that around and develop new things in you. By investing energy into growing parts of yourself you will enrich your life and prepare yourself for a future of new relationships that lie ahead.

When I got divorced one of the first things I did was take a painting class. I walked into class completely freaked out because even though I have a degree in art, I had never been taught how to paint. As I sheepishly told the teacher my plight, she smiled and said, "That's actually pretty common for a lot of artists. They get stuck in their chosen discipline and don't explore other things."

Five minutes after walking into class the teacher's kind words managed to wash away 20 years of fear and shame of not knowing how to paint. This moment opened my eyes as to what divorce could do for me. I was already stuck in a place of anxiety regarding my new circumstances of being alone again, why not use it as a time to confront some of my other fears that had been hiding out in the closet gathering dust.

I didn't become a talented painter by taking this class, but I did extinguish a long held belief that didn't have the skill set to enjoy painting. I confronted my fear and now that little bit of discontent is at peace.

Maybe you need to take up rock climbing to confront your fear of heights or maybe you're avoiding learning how to file your taxes on your own. They can be big or small fears that are lurking in the shadows, silently eroding your self-esteem.

Take a class, find an expert, make a new friend, read a how-to book, and practice, practice, practice. You have to make the first step to confront your fear and more than likely it will disappear over time. As you do this, gradually you will feel more self-confident and trust in your resilience when you are afraid in the future.

If you want to watch a sweet and funny movie about using the breakup of a relationship as an opportunity to confront your fears and empower your life, watch If I Were You.