Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Healing from Your Codependent Relationship after a Breakup or Divorce

Last year a friend sent me the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency as a gift. Wow, am I ever grateful that someone else was able to see the thing I needed most in my life and sent it to me like a life raft during the chaos of the holiday season.

Having read and benefited greatly from Melody Beattie's book Codependent No More in my twenties, this group of meditations came at just the right time when I was ready to own up to everything I had created from my marriage, subsequent divorce, and the codependent behavior I exhibited in my relationship.

If you are unfamiliar with codependency, checkout this Codependency for Dummies Cheat Sheet.

If you suspect you were acting out codependent behavior in your previous relationship or marriage, I recommend both these books by Melody Beattie. Codependent No More is a basic guide for healing and the meditation book is wonderful daily support.

I discovered my codependency twenty years ago and attended a 12-step group for help. I remember looking around the room and thinking, "I'm going to kick this habit and cure myself in a couple years." It was only after several years of therapy and various support groups that I realized codependency is a life long lesson. It's with you until the end, and it's up to you to choose how you dance with it. The Language of Letting Go honors this process and helps you realize that every day you can greet your codependent behavior afresh, without shame, and grateful for the opportunity to make new decisions.

Other Tools for Codependency

Loving Kindness Meditation
Lemonade Mantras
Gratitude Journal 
Develop a Spiritual Practice
Physical Exercise
Support Groups
Focus on a Hobby