Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Single Moms Club & Creating Communities After Divorce

Being a single parent is one of most heart-rending expressions of modern society. I'm not a parent, so I can't relate directly to the experiences of raising a child alone or within the context of divorce. However, I think anyone can benefit from watching this movie because as a whole we are a community, and single parents (women and men) are shouldering a huge responsibility.

I love the context of the The Single Moms Club, and how Tyler Perry bonds these single mothers through something that could be at first glance a negative experience. Instead they turn this humorous adversity into a means of support and create a community that nurtures one another.

Perhaps this is one of the most gracious gifts of divorce. Society promotes creating a partnership of two people, but in reality we have always been humans that need the support of a community -- a tribe to help us grow, raise kids, and sustain lives. Divorce and becoming a single parent could propel you to seek out people and communities you never thought to reach out to before and expand your love into the world that is beyond a partnership of two.

Single Moms Club and Creating Communities by Beth Hemmila of the Breakup Care Package

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

10 Tips for Learning How to Laugh Again after a Breakup or Divorce

10 Tips for Learning to Laugh Again after a Breakup or Divorce Beth Hemmila Breakup Care Package

Laughter is good medicine especially after a breakup or divorce. However, you do need to become aware of when you are seeking humor simply to avoid dealing with the painful experience of loss and when you are using laughter to lighten up and heal. I've done both. So if you notice you're running away from the challenging emotional stuff and losing yourself in fun than you might be in denial. Click here to learn more about denial.

Nevertheless, a balance of acknowledging the reality of your loss, experiencing your grief, and learning to laugh at life again seems to be a healthy way to mend.

The most painful part of the end of my relationship was losing my comedy partner. My funny side kick was gone. In fact, humor was one of ways we connected on an intimate level. We had our own private language, running gags that went on for years, and unique ways of playing with each other that no one else could step into. When our relationship was gone, it was like my whole way of relating disappeared.

Perhaps you have experienced the loss of your comedy duo, and I'm not going to say that it stops hurting. However, you will go on to find other ways of relating to people and learning to laugh again may help you get back into the flow of life.

Here are 10 ideas to seek out the laughter in your life:

  1. Learn something new that makes you feel ridiculous and prompts you to laugh at yourself. Laugh with the people who are laughing at you in good fun. For me it's learning how to ski. Every time I fall down I crack up. For some people it might be yoga or going to the batting cage.
  2. Watch humorous sitcoms, movies, and plays. There's a reason Greek comedies and Shakespeare's funny plays are timeless: They heal us on a very deep emotional level.
  3. Check out the local comedy club or get out on stage and join an improv group.
  4. Try laughter yoga. It looks crazy, but I've done it, and it really works as a way to connect people. Laughter yoga is best done in a group. 
  5. Be on the lookout for your mistakes and missteps throughout your day and take a moment to chuckle at yourself. Imagine you are a character in a sitcom. Wouldn't people find your blunders funny?
  6. Read the comics or funny novels.
  7. Clown around the house with your kids and pets.
  8. Buy a joke book and practice telling them at work.
  9. Play board games with friends.
  10. Join interest groups with people who are funny, lighthearted, and laugh a lot. Their joy will help lighten you up.